Part One: Women & Our Backhands.

Huddle up, fellow women.

I’ve talked to a lot of women friends recently. Actually, I’m pretty sure I have fewer women friends after some of these conversations. More and more, I hear them saying they’re turning away from the situation we now find ourselves in politically. “I’m going to stick my head in the sand,” one said. My response? What will you tell your 11-year-old and 13-year-old 10 years from now when they ask you why you did nothing? Perhaps now you understand why I have fewer friends than I used to.

Yesterday, I was on a call with a woman coach. There are a lot of them, coaching mostly women to succeed in a man’s business world. And yet, pay equity for women is decreasing.

Anyway, she said she is going to focus on teaching women how to lead—just as she has for decades.

I’m not good at nuance, and I don’t have all the answers. But I couldn’t help thinking: for me, she’s spending her time teaching women how to put on a life vest, even though the Titanic has already hit the iceberg. If you go into the water, that life vest will be worth nothing. She should be teaching women how to get in the boat, how to get as many people in the boat as possible, and how to leave no one behind.

Let’s start with this: according to Reuters, Trump got 45% of the female vote, and Harris got 46%. I know, I know. We are not getting this right, and we have approached it the same way for decades. We should have made it about the $$.

And it gets worse before it gets better.

In a significant shift within the U.S. House of Representatives, no women will chair any of the 17 standing committees in the upcoming 119th Congress—the first time in over two decades that female leadership at this level is completely absent.

This development comes amid notable contests, including the recent race for the top Democratic position on the House Oversight and Accountability Committee. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), a prominent progressive figure, was defeated by Representative Gerry Connolly (D-VA), a seasoned lawmaker with 16 years on the committee. Connolly secured the position with a vote of 131 to 84, emphasizing experience over generational change.

Connolly’s recent diagnosis of esophageal cancer added complexity to the race. Despite his health challenges, he assured colleagues of his capability to serve, and his extensive experience was a decisive factor in his selection.

The absence of female committee chairs isn’t limited to the Oversight Committee. The House Republican Steering Committee’s recent selections resulted in all committee leadership positions being filled by men—without a single person of color chosen either.

This trend isn’t new. In the previous Congress, the number of women chairing committees was already limited. For instance, at the start of the 118th Congress, women chaired only three committees, while men named “Mike” chaired six.

We’ve got to leave the Washington push for later. Start with the $$.

We should be changing our focus. Women who are as good as my friend at coaching and giving others the confidence to rise need to pivot. When my backhand in tennis wasn’t working, I started running around it and using my forehand whenever possible. They should be teaching practical skills—how to run around your backhand to get the winning shot for things like securing the money and the power it provides. Put in front of us how Fruit Loops is killing your precious Jane, and she will stop buying Fruit Loops. Tell her to ban Nabisco, and she doesn’t hear you. We are not speaking ‘her’ language. Teach us how to secure grants from women like Melinda Gates and MacKenzie Scott. Teach us how to pool money to make films that inspire action, how to get on school boards, and how to claim space in decision-making rooms.

Right this minute, women are ill-equipped for what we’re facing. The onslaught to take away our power, and diminish our agency. Continuing the same strategies we’ve used for the last 20 years to make progress is futile. Time to change the game.

This is a war. Not a war with guns—I’m not buying one—but a war of discipline, which I wrote about yesterday. It’s about refusing to spend money with companies that treat us as an oppressed minority. It’s about making sure we are supporting the women who are succeeding. It’s about turning away from the ease of quick fixes, like shopping big brands, and finding better buys.

Teach me how to fight. Teach me tactics. Teach a class on boxing for the women’s win, for Christ’s sake.

But head in the sand? Continuing to do what we’ve done for 20 years? That’s not an option.

I hate that I know I’m alienating some of the women around me. I hate it. Do I need to find a better way to inspire rebellion—a new, collaborative, and deeply feminine rebellion? I’m open to input.

In the meantime, please don’t shoot the messenger. Instead, evaluate the message. Ask yourself: Could she be right?

And stay tuned for the good news in Part Two: Women Have the $$. You have no idea how far we’ve come; we just didn’t know it. We need to build on that.